Genuine – A walk through Colossians Part 11 —–Asbury Free Methodist – June 27, 2021
By Rev. Brent Russett
Colossians 3:18-4:1
This is part 11 of a 12 part series – Genuine – A walk through Colossians – where we have looked at what it means to live out the Christian life.
Last week we looked at the last of the three big truths of Colossians.
1. The foundation of your spiritual life is based on what Jesus has done for you.
2. The practice of your spiritual life is all about intimacy with God.
3. The measure of your spiritual life is determined by how we relate to others.
We have been called earlier in the chapter to
Colossians 3:5 (NIV)
5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
Paul goes on to say,
Colossians 3:8–9 (NIV)
8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.
In other words, don’t damage people with you actions or your words. Don’t treat them as objects to be manipulated.
Paul goes on to tell us how to live
Colossians 3:12–14 (NIV)
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
All of these evil things that we are putting to death and all of these virtues that we clothe ourselves with can only come out of our intimacy with God. They come out of our relationship with God. They are a measure of our spiritual maturity.
I tell you all that, because if this next passage is taken is isolation it can have a devastating effect. If you try to live this next passage out of context you will end up in a bad place. Come with me to verse 18.
Colossians 3:18–24 (NIV)
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
I am going to dive into this passage where angels fear to tread.
Colossians 3:18 (NIV)
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
If you have not taken into account the rest of the message of Colossians that the practice of your spirituality is all about intimacy with God and the measure of your spirituality is how you relate to other people, then you will probably interpret this verse wrong.
There are some conners of the church that believe that God intends that men dominate women and that women should submit. They believe that suffering is a Christian virtue so if women are suffering by submitting to their husbands that that is ok.
Let me say this a clearly as I possibly can, that is a gross, horrible, evil, interpretation of scripture.
Submission in the bible is never a wrestling match, where one person dominates another person to the point of submission. That goes against Jesus’ sermon on the mount about manipulating people for your own ends. It goes against what Paul has just said previously in this chapter. So, a husband can never use a verse like this to say to his wife, you must submit to me.
Submission in the bible is all about willingly coming under another’s authority. Biblical submission is always about a willing choice to come under someone’s authority – the person in authority cannot demand, require, or co-orse, someone to come under their authority – and be truly spiritual.
A parallel verse that is helpful as we look at Colossians is found in,
Ephesians 5:21–22 (NIV)
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
You are not only husband and wife but you are brother and sister in the Lord. You are called to submit to one another. There are many times where the husband should submit, come under the authority, of his wife. My wife has a couple of medical degrees. I would be foolish not to submit to her input on my health.
Going back to our Colossians passage,
Colossians 3:18 (NIV)
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Notice that phrase, “As is fitting in the Lord.” If you want an interesting study, go back through the book of Colossians and study the phrase “In him, or In the Lord.” There are a lot of things that a wife may asked to do that are not fitting in the Lord. There will be times when all of us, men and women, will need to go to the Lord and ask what authority should I submit to and should I not submit to.
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I belabor this point because I have heard a way too many stories like the one Carolyn Heggen relays in her book Abuse, Women, and the Bible.
A women went to her pastor and told about her husband’s abusive behavior. The pastor’s response was: “No matter what he’s doing to you, he is still your spiritual head. Respect those behaviors that you can respect and pray for those that you can’t respect. But remember, no matter what, you owe it to him and to God to live in submission to your husband. You’ll never be happy until you submit to him.
It was no wonder that when she came to Carolyn for counselling that she felt like she was going crazy. She was unhappy as a battered wif but had been told by her pastor that to be happy she must submit to her batterer.
Even more disturbing was the devoutly religious husband who insisted that he battered his wife because she wouldn’t submit to his God-given headship.
I wish that were an isolated incident – but it is not. Using the bible like that is wrong and sinful. There is absolutely no place for abuse either spousal or child abuse in the body of Christ.
Colossians 3:19 (NIV)
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
That word love is agape. It is the way God loves us. It means that you will do what is in the other person’s best interests even when you don’t get anything in return.
Part of the journey of two Christians being married is to learn to live in such a way, where they care for the other unselfishly. That is they way that God tends to use marriage in a way that sanctifies us.
Colossians 3:20–21 (NIV)
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
I like that Paul is speaking to kids. He just assumes that kids will be part of the Colossian church. What Paul wants to impart to the kids is how to please the Lord.
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Now we move into the second part of this challenging passage.
Colossians 3:22 (NIV)
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
It was a different time and a different place. There were slaves and there were masters. Paul didn’t try to change society, he tried to work within its bounds while creating a different kind of society or culture within the church. The idea is that if the church creates a different kind of culture, and that culture is seen as good and spreads to the surrounding culture, that change will happen.
So, let me give you the back story here. As you know Colossians was written by Paul who was in prison in Rome. He writes this letter to a congregation he has never met. This letter, it tells in Chapter 4:7-9 is going to be delivered to the Colossians by Tychicus and Onesimus.
Now Onesimus was from Colossae. In fact, he was a run away slave from Colossae. And what is worse, his master, his owner – was part of the church at Colossae. His name was Philemon. You may recognize that name because a very short book in the New Testament is named after Philemon. That is because Paul wrote a letter to Philemon about Onesimus. Apparently, Philemon became a follower of Jesus under Paul’s ministry.
Paul basically says Onesimus has become a follower of Jesus. He has become like a son to me, but I am sending him back to you anyways – because I don’t want to manipulate you to do something that you don’t want to do.
This is what Paul says,
Philemon 15–17 (NIV)
15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever—16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.
Paul doesn’t say, you have to free him. But he does say you have to treat him as a brother in Christ. In fact, treat him as you would treat me. So, while this whole story is being played out in the background Paul writes,
Colossians 3:22–4:1 (NIV)
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.
4 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
If you look at this passage from 50,000 foot point of view what Paul is talking about is the kind of person that you are called to be.
Here is the thing. It is in our fallen nature to ask the question, what can I get away with? So, if you are in a lowing paying job, the question is what is the least I can get away doing? If you have authority, you ask what is the least I can pay the people that works for me?
But Paul is saying something quite different. It is not about who you work for or who works for you, it is whose you are. He says whatever you do, work for the Lord. The bonus of that is that as you are working for the Lord you are also doing a good job for your employer. You get paid in the next pay period by your employer, but you get rewarded by the Lord for your work as well. You will receive an inheritance from the Lord.
And to the people who do wrong, especially the people in power, – God will make that right as well. There is not paragraph break between verse 25 and chapter 4 verse 1. Do what is right and fair, because you have authority, but there is one who is in authority over you.
Relationships are complicated. The relationship between a husband and wife can be complicated. The relationship between a parent and child can be complicated. The relationship between employer and employee can be complicated.
The message of the whole of Chapter 3 in Colossians is that because of what Jesus has done for you, you are connected to him. That connection transforms us as we let it. It transforms us from the inside out, so we let it.
Relationships are complicated, but our focus is not on the other person, but on who we are as a person. We look to Jesus to change our dark side, and make us into the person that we were created to be. As that happens he lets us know how we are to be in the different relationships in our lives.
That is very different than our tendency to wish the other person would change. God wants us to focus on our own hearts and let him change us. We want to call the best out of other people, but it is not our job to change them. Our job is to point them to Jesus. He is the one who changes us.
My question to you is, what is God working on in you right now? Will you let him changer you more and more into who he is calling you to be.