By Rev. Dr. Brent Russett – Asbury Free Methodist
March 2, 2025 – James 3:1-10
This is our last sermon in the series, “Things we need to be Reminded Of.” Next Sunday is the first Sunday of Lent. I will be starting a new series titled, “Journeying with Jesus to the Cross.” We will walk into the Garden of Gethsemane with him. We will stand beside him in the trial. We will journey with him to the cross. My hope is that this journey will cause your love for him to go deeper and your spiritual life to grow. I encourage you to make your spiritual life a priority during this coming lent season.
This morning, as we finish off our series on “Things we need to be reminded of,” I want to re-preach a version of a sermon that I preached in January 2019 titled Garbage Margins because it is something we need to be regularly reminded of.
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I heard a story told by a guy who works at Chilis Restaurant. A customer came into the restaurant to get his take-out order. The guy working at Chilis looked over the pending orders, and he couldn’t find the order. He asked for the man’s name again; in case he made a mistake. But again, he couldn’t find the order.
The server came back to man and said, “I’m sorry I can’t find your order,” – and the guy goes off on him. “How hard is it to do your job? How could you screw up? What’s wrong with you? etc.
The server said that he kept his cool and ask him what he ordered so the kitchen could make it as quickly as they could. So, the irate man repeated his order. As soon as the man got to the Ahi tuna salad, the server said, “I told him with the straightest face I could muster that he had ordered from The Outback Restaurant next door.” The man said nothing. There wasn’t even an apology. He just turned around and walked out of Chilis.
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I don’t know if you have noticed but sometimes people can be difficult to deal with.
Now if you have read the scripture and heard the words of Jesus you will know that Christians are supposed to be different. Jesus on the night before he died said,
John 13:34–35 (NIV)
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
We know as Christians that we are to love each other. You say, thanks Captain Obvious. That is not a news flash. The question is, “How do we practice that?”
At the last church I pastored, there was a period of time where we felt called to put an emphasis on community. I preached on it, there was small group bible studies on it. My assistant pastors preached on it, and it started to happen.
People were going past the surface level of, “Hi, how are you, I’m fine, nice day we are having today” to deeper level of “How are you really?”
You know what started to happen. Interpersonal conflict started breaking out all over the place. All of a sudden people were getting past each other’s nice facade and found that there were some rough edges. And people got nicked on those hard edges, and conflict broke out.
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In high school, I use to play in a church hockey league. (This is not me) It was there that I developed my theology that the Spirit of God was everywhere present, except over the surface of the ice, in a hockey arena.
You would have these really nice guys, who if you met them anywhere else were just really good guys, but you put a pair of skates on them and a hockey stick in their hands and they went ballistic.
The rule of the league was “no body contact.” Now I wasn’t a good enough hockey player to know, but other guys who played in full contact leagues said this league was far worse than a full contact league.
In a full contact league, you skate around expecting to get hit, so when you do get hit, you are ready for it. In a non-contact league, you skate around expecting no contact. So, when you get hit you are unprepared, and it shakes you right down to your skates.
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In a lot of ways church life is like living on that hockey rink. You come into Christian Community with Jesus words ringing in your ears. A new Commandment give I unto you, that you love one another.
But you are just “doing your thing” in of Christian community, and all of a sudden, you get hip checked.
Yet, this does negate or nullify Jesus’ words. A new command I give you, Love one another. But when it happens, it can shake you right down to your boots.
We hear Jesus’ command but the question is, how? How do you love people with rough edges? How do your love irregular people? How do you love people who are really different from you? How do you love people who do and say things that just grate on you? How do you love people who vote different than you and think different than you? How do you love people when you get hip checked?
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Come with me to James 3
James 3:2 (NIV)
2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
James 3:2 (KJV)
For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same [is] a perfect man, [and] able also to bridle the whole body.
Here is what the word of God says, “We all” you and I are included in that. We all stumble in what we say. We all offend. The word of God declares that if you hang around me long enough and if I hang around you long enough, we are going to offend each other by what we say. We are all going to stumble in what we say.
So, we are skating around the community as if this is a non-contact sport, when the Bible says, you and I are going to get hit with an offense sooner or later. And if we are not ready for it, it can shake us right down to our boots.
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So, what do you do about it. Let me introduce to you this morning’s concept. A garbage margin. You give people a margin for garbage. You put a garbage margin around people. The less you expect to be offended, the more likely you will be. But when you know that offences are going to happen, it becomes no big deal.
So that when someone says something offensive, you say, ah that is coming out of their garbage margin. I’ve already built in the expectation that it is going to happen. The Bible said that would happen, it was expected, the Bible is true, go figure, let’s get on with life.
I have a slogan that I’ve adopted. I was visiting someone, and she made the comment “people say the stupidest things”. That is Biblical. We all offend, we all stumble. People say the stupidest things. Expect it. We all stumble. We are all going to offend. I have been known to says some stupid things. It is part of the human condition. Accept it.
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Now if you use this sermon as an excuse to say stupid things, then you are a fool. I know people who are deliberately offensive just so they can push other people’s buttons. That has no place in the body of Christ.
But even when we try to be kind and gracious and loving, you can expect that sooner or later everyone is going to say something stupid, something offensive.
People in community tend to do one of two things if people say something that is offensive. They tend either to back away from the person or confront the person. What I am saying is that neither may be the appropriate response. There may be a place for that after a while, but that is now where we need to go to first.
Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)
11 A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
The Bible says that is to your glory to overlook and offence. It is to your glory to write things off to the garbage margin. It is too your glory to say, people say stupid things, that was one of them – and move on.
Now, there are times to confront when the behaviour is persistent, and there are injustices being done. But the first response to an offense is to overlook it.
If you look over the life of Jesus, you will see that there were a number of times when he offended people. He was the one person who never said stupid things, and yet he offended people. There was a time when he did what he needed to do not to offend people. But there never was a time when he himself was offended over what was said about him personally.
Now there were two times when he actually was offended. The time he cleared out the temple, he was obviously offended over what was happening in the temple. They had made a house of prayer into a den of thieves. There was another time when Peter told him that he didn’t have to die, and Jesus replied, get behind me Satan, you are a stumbling block and offence to me. (I want to come back to that situation in a while.)
But Jesus did not take offence to what was said about him. People called him a drunkard, a friend of sinners, a glutton. That is pretty offensive language. But he didn’t take an offense.
You have his disciples being offended, his family being offended, the Pharisees were often offended, but Jesus wasn’t offended.
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From time to time, I run into people who are easily offended. I have even had people tell me, “I am easily offended.” I don’t quite know what you do with that.
But whenever you meet someone like that, you can tell a couple of things. One there is a good chance that they are very wounded people. Two, they haven’t come to terms with the full reach of the cross of Christ.
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In the Old Testament the Hebrew word for offence is stink or stench. Offence and sin are often used in parallel structure.
Isaiah 59:12 (NIV)
12 For our offenses are many in your sight,
and our sins testify against us.
Our offenses are ever with us,
and we acknowledge our iniquities:
Offence and sin, offence and iniquities are used in the same way. Our sin is a stench in the nostrils of God. We have offended God with what we have said and what we have done. The Bible says all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. There are none righteous, no not one. We all smell. We all stink. We are offensive.
But the story of the gospel is that Jesus died for our sin.
Isaiah 53:5 (KJV)
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities:
The chastisement of our peace was upon him;
And with his stripes we are healed.
The gospel is this, Jesus took our stench. He bore our offenses. He took our sins upon himself. Now we who were a stench in the nostrils of God have been cleansed, purified, deodorized if you would.
In fact this is what the Bible says,
2 Corinthians 2:15 (NIV)
15 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.
Instead of being offensive to God, instead of being a stench in his nostrils, we have become the aroma of Christ. We are not offensive we smell beautiful.
If I was into being cheesy, I would have you turn to your neighbour and say, “You smell beautiful”. But I’m not into cheese and in some cases it might be border line creepy, so we won’t do that.
Now when someone says or does something offensive, and you know that is going to happen – it stinks. But now you know that you once stunk, and you know that Jesus took that stink upon himself. Now when other people stink, you have a choice to either embrace it and get smelly again or leave it for the one who can take care of the stink.
In the New Testament, the word that is translated offence or stumbling block is “skandalon.” When remember when Jesus was offended by Peter when Peter said he didn’t have to die, Jesus said, you’re a “skandalon” to me.
Have you ever seen someone try to trap a squirrel. The basic trap set up is, you have a box, and you put one end of the box up on a stick. Then you tie a rope to the stick or bait to that stick. The theory is when the animal takes the bait, it moves the stick, which causes the box to fall, trapping the animal.
That stick that holds the box up, in Greek is called a “skandalon”. Jesus is saying, Peter you are a trap for me. You are the baited trigger, that wants to box me in an keep me from doing the will of my Father. Get behind me.
In the New Testament, that is what a skandalon is. It is a trap. That is what an offence is. It is a trap.
You are going to be offended. That is a given. God said it would happen. As sure as night follows day it going to happen. But if you choose to give a garbage margin then you have just walked away from that trap. If you choose to forgive, then you have walked away from the trap. If you choose to leave the stench for one who can deal with it, you have missed the trap.
However, if you take the bait, and take up the offence, and own it as your own, “I’m offended” then the trap falls.
Let me describe to you what happens when a Christian takes up an offence. They normally harden their heart to that person that offended them, but it usually doesn’t stop there.
Proverbs 18:19 (NIV)
19 A brother wronged (other translations say – An offended brother) is more unyielding than a fortified city;
disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.
We wall ourselves in, and we only let people past when we are really sure they are not going to hurt us. Inside our walls we brood and harbouring the offences whether real or perceived we start to produce unholy fruit. Anger outrage, jealousy, resentment, strife, bitterness, hatred, and envy. Out of these things come insults and attacks, wounding, division, separation, broken relationships, and betrayal.
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It is a trap. It is a trap that is camouflaged by our pride. We will be able to rationalize why an offence is justified. The religious spirits, and worldly wisdom may even come along and pat you on the back. “You should resent what they said about you.”
All the while you sit in your gilded trap restrained. You will not bear good fruit. You will not know either peace or joy. But you have your offence, and you nurse it.
If you have a church full of these kinds of people, people who have been wounded and they run into others who have been wounded then there are traps being sprung all over the place. No community happens because everyone is trapped inside their own fortress.
So, what do you do when someone offends you. Garbage margin, Garbage margin. You expected it. What do you do when people offend you forgive immediately. When people throw spears – duck.
Remember David and King Saul. What did David do when King Saul threw a spear at him. He ducked. What do you do when people throw and offensive spear at you. You duck. Let it go by.
As you know there are levels of spiritual maturity. Here is how this affects people at different levels. Spiritually new born people sometimes maybe even often get caught in this trap. They expect that all Christians will never offend. They find out that all Christians will sometimes offend. It is often up to those who are encouraging them in their walk — to walk around the trap.
The Spiritual young Adults, well they learn to spot the traps. They see an offence, and they walk the other way. They see an offence and they duck. They see an offence and they forgive.
The Spiritually mature people seen an offence and they walk away, duck or forgive, but then they ask another question. Why was that so offensive to me? Why was that trap so enticing to me? A spiritually mature person, starts to ask the questions that will lead to insight into their heart, uncovering of sin in their life, discovery of un-surrendered parts of their lives to God. Spiritually mature people use offences to increase their spiritual vision.
There are some people for who picking up an offense is a way of life. You think it is just the way you are supposed to live. If you are a person who always has drama going on in their lives – you are either caught in the trap, or you have surrounded yourself with people who are caught in this trap.
You first need to realize that you are living in a trap. You know most of us take up offences by choice. But there may be some of you who were abused and things like that, who had the offence thrust upon you. But whether you took it on by choice or whether it was thrust upon you, you got wounded, and you got trapped.
To get out of the trap, you are going to have to forgive the person or the people who offended you. Remember the cross. Jesus took our offences on himself. Will you stop holding on to the offences of those around you. They are hurting you and trapping you. Will you give them to Jesus? He is the one who can handle them.
That is the definition of forgiveness. I let go of all the offences. I let go of my need to make them pay. I let go of letting their offences dominate my thinking. I give them to Jesus. He can handle them; he can do what he like with them. I want to see that offender in heaven.
Forgiveness will get you out of the trap. If you have been wounded deeply, then you are probably going to need Jesus to lead you into a place of healing and restoration. Get out of the trap first, and then start to seek him for your healing, or to lead you to a place where you can be healed.
Back to our hockey game. Life is a full contact sport. The Bible commands you to be gentle, but it also tells you to get ready for hits. The Bible tells you to be kind and tenderhearted, but you are going to get hip checked from time to time. So, remember, Garbage margin, you expected it. Duck, don’t pick up the spear, don’t take the bait. Allow God to show you your own heart.